1. Networking functions. These are great places to to meet a whole bunch of people who are in the exact same shoes as you are in, give or take the odd producer type looking for young ingenues to nail. Use these functions to find room mates and people willing to work on that youtube video that you want to shoot. This will be the same group you will see over and over again as their careers blow up, stagnate or fail. Generally a small group of go getters will all blow up at the same time.

2. Screenings and after parties. These will be places that you will find yourself in the company of a scant few A or B listers and a whole bunch of the “usual suspects from the networking functions. Everyone will be aggressively jockeying for a little bit of face time with the stars who will not stay very long. After they leave it will devolve into another networking function. Nothing much will come from these.

3. Hot industry clubs and after hours spots. If you are lucky enough to get into that club or where all the celebs hang out FORGET IT nothing career wise will come of these. At the best you may get a little “starf*cking” in but that generally will lead to nothing but a good story to tell.

3. Industry parties, award shows, premiere after parties etc. These are the A list schmoozing spots and the places where you need to have your A-game schmoozing skills together. If you are not an A-lister don’t try to make a deal or get a job at one of these parties because you probably wont! This is the place to MAKE AN IMPRESSION.

And how do I do this, you might ask?

Get people to LIKE YOU. That means don’t talk about yourself, talk about INTERESTING THINGS. Do not talk about the industry. If you’re in the company of an A-list group of players talk about fascinating things, “charities and spirituality are always good topics with artistic types.” Sports, world events with “business types.” Be fun, funny entertaining and MYSTERIOUS! Let people wonder what you do. Let them ASK you what you do. Answer them then move on to another fascinating topic. Never gossip or bash celebrities as you may be talking to one of their friends.

This is MOST IMPORTANT — DON’T OVERSTAY YOUR WELCOME! Make an impression get everybody to like you, get a number or contact if you can and GET OUT OF THERE EARLY! Always leave the impression that you have something better to do! Never be among the last to leave these kind of parties!

The key to proper schmoozing in Hollywood is not to get out there and sell what you do to people, it’s selling WHO YOU ARE!

Unless, of course you are an &%!@!*%!

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